Qana - Sunday July 30th , 2006
Only to let you know that these are 55 civilians, all killed , 20 of themare kids betwween 7 months and 12 years old.Only to let you know that a number of these children are handicapped, theywere hit in the last Qana massacre in 1996. Only to let you know CNN and BBC are hosting IDF spokespeople who tell theworld that these civilians were warned to leave , but they just didn't.Only to let you know the air strikes took place at 1:00 am , all they people were sleeping, in their pyjamas, bare feet, in a shelter. The house was hittwice. Twice. To make sure they will all die.Only to let you know that despite the fact that we're animals, but it wouldhave been impossible for animals to sleep had there been any shelling from anywhere close , as the IDF alleges.Only to let you know you free media won't show you these pictures.Only to let you know that this is not the first time this happens , and Ican promise you it won't be the last time. ..
H..

27th july 2006

Dear all, Sad stories in the paper today.

A colleague went to see a family in AL Zahra Hospital In Beirut , they told her how they fled Tireh village in the south: their house was bombed, some of the family mambers stayed under therubble, tha rest went to the nighbours' house. It was also hit, and under its rubbles were left more family members... The rest run away. Their carwas targeted on the road. More of them got killed. They met a UN convoy andscreamed for help. What happened next is the following : one UN soldier was taking their picture , and when he finished , he yelled "no , no " and leftthem there.Now the father and two sisters are in a hospital in the south , and therest of the family is in Beirut. (the shayto's pictures ).
My other colleague toured some schools hosting refugees with a group of doctors . Conclusion : spread of diseases due to lack of hygiene : when youdon't have water, or washing machines , when tens, sometimes hundred of people share shool rooms , this is bound to happen. She also met a group ofsome 30 people who could not find a place in publis schools and who are nowin a garden of an empty house. She tells the story of the 80 year old woman there who wouldn't eat , because she wants to spare the food for thechildren . She told Saada , my colleague, it would be a waste for her to eatwhereas the kids are hungry.
Milia did a small thing about a fx some hospitals in the south received from a local association , offering very attractive packages for nurses andradiologists needed in the US. Now, here, the US is recruiting medicalstaff.Faten went to the Securite General and found out that loads of people are applying for passports : five thousand passports are issued every day sinceJuly 13th ( in a country of 3,5 million people). Some 151 thousand Lebanesenationals have left the county in nine days.(betw July 13 and July 25th) Habib wrote about Green Peace closing their offices in Lebanon at a time thesea is plagued with unprecedented pollution due to the Israeli shelling offuel tank reserves that made our sea's colour look black. Experts say it will take the water, the rocks, the sand , the fish tens of years torecover. People shoud not swim in the sea for long years to come..The minister of heath annouced today that 600 people were killed and some 1300 injured since the Israeli aggression started on July the 12th.George W. Bush says he's against a cease fire that does not solve theproblem from the roots. Well , tell him it's working : we're being exterminated from the roots.
H...

Beirut , July 27th

I did not go to the funeral.
Yesterday was not a particularly good day. I was completely devastated, and had a lot ot do.
I had , first , to take care of Oum Mostafa, a 75 year old Egyptian lady who cleans houses in Lebanon since the 70s I guess. My friend Leila said we’d better get her out of here, she doesn’t have to go through all this. She’s not feeling well, she’s getting poorer every day cause no one wants to hire an old lady who can barely move, to clean their houses. I don’t think you want me to describe to you the room ,( is it a room ? it’s something with a roof on the top of it) where she lives.
So I called my friend Yasser at the embassy and he was very helpful. However , we discovered that the lady was wanted by the Lebanese authorities, and that if the embassy can get her safely to the border , she will be arrested.
For two days we were trying to know what crime she committed, what is it that she did that gives her only two choices in life: stay here and get killed by Israeli air strikes or go to jail at 75.
After in-depth investigations, we found it : ever since the year 2000, she never renewed her work permit, nor her other papers. So ? she ‘d have to pay 1200 usd or rot here for the rest of her life.
We got her out. Thanks to the embassy’s efforts. Most Egyptian works in here do not have permits. If the embassy hadn’t done something about it, I think the Lebanese authorities would have seized the opportunity to collect some money ….
So , Oum Mostafa is now in Syria ( I hope) on her way home.
I called Salim. He told me Mohamad’s mother is …. so I decided I won’t go . I’ll wait a couple of days. Is that enough for a mother to get used to the idea that her 23 years old “baby” was killed?
Last night air raids were so close, I was almost out of my mind. Israeli fighters were flying so low, I couldn’t wait to go home and hug my little baby (we live on the 12th floor, remember?).
It turned out later they were bombing more TV, radios and phone transmission arials somewhere close (Amsheet, near Jounieh).
I’m not supposed to write to you anymore. That was my decision when Mohamad was killed. But I did miss you.
And I know this will sound corny, but so many of you wrote to me, and it made me feel …
One of you wrote the following : I am so grateful for your posts on The Angry Arab Blogspot. I scan through the blog each night when I get home to see if there is a post from you. It has meant a great deal to me. In most ways I am utterly powerless. I have no or little influence from my location and position. And yet, that is not the whole truth, is it? No. It isn't. I think of you, and Kinda, and all the people you write about, and hold them in my thought, in my soul perhaps, here. Your words are affecting me and the way I live each moment. The way I listen and respond to those around me. It is perhaps too little, too late. Yet, I wanted you to know that you have all touched me, deeply. I hear you. I simply wanted you to know that, first of all, someone reads them, and that like a seed scattered on the dry earth, maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday, some of these seeds will take root. Pity? No. Guilt? Perhaps some guilt, certainly despair, and underneath it all a fragile living connection.

May you and Kinda be protected, .

This is for you Howie, thanks.
I’m going home now to see Kinda. Tonight I’ll send some pictures and write about some of the stories we’re publishing.
H...

Beirut , July 25th , 2006

This “boum boum ha ha” technique doesn’t seem to work all the time; not with me at least.
After 24 hours of “nothing“ in Beirut , I was almost getting ready to bid you farewell , and thank you for your support during 14 long days.
Everything in Beirut was so calm I even went home for lunch. There were ongoing air strikes on the South but no reports of causalities yet.
Kinda wanted to come with me to the office when she saw that I was going back there.
The minute we reached the street, we heard the sounds of four huge consecutive explosions. I don’t remember what I did, maybe I jumped , but when I looked at Kinda she was pale. It took her two seconds to get back on earth and say the magic words “boum boum ha ha “. And she kept repeating that for five minutes, automatically. She was not smiling. She was asking: Boum boum ha ha ?
Four people were killed, others were seriously wounded in that air strike on the southern suburb. Yes, the suburb again. I sent the pictures of the rubbles, of people searching for their homes in streets that were completely wiped off, didn’t I?
Well, it seems that was not enough. I wonder what they’re looking for… It must be something really important.
Seven raids hit the suburb today, dropped ten shells on an area that’s already almost completely destroyed.
They spared it for a while, so people went to check on their belongings and then .. BOUM
It killed four people; I know one of them. He’s my best friend’s young cousin. He went there with his brother , without telling their family , to check on their home that they’d left five days ago under the shelling. Mohamad is Palestinian. He was staying at his cousin’s house, Salim, my friend. At the moment he died, the moment Kinda and I had reached the street and heard the explosions, his mom and Salim were on Salim’s balcony , trying to locate were the shelling was falling. They did not know it hit a building that fell on four people and killed them. They did not know it was falling on Mohamad.
Now they do.

Counting the dead: Twenty people were killed today. It brings it up to 411 since July the 12th.
Zeinab Mounes , 9, her brother Mohamad , 11, and their uncle were found under the rubbles of their house in Halloussiyeh where 6 air raids had destroyed 3 apartment buildings. Nine other people were injured. No one knows how many people are still under the rubble. One other civilian from the same village was killed in a morning raid.
Two civilians were killed in Ma’lyeh, west of Tyre.
Six Red Cross paramedics were injured on their way to Qana.
One Palestinian was killed, 5 others wounded, one of them is a child, in Rashidiyeh refugees camp.
Eight people were found under the rubbles of their house in Qana.
Seven people , the members of one family were killed when their house was destryed by a shell in Nabatiyeh.
Six Red Cross paramedics were injured on their way to Qana, IN AN AMBULANCE.

You want more? There’s plenty, but I just can’t keep doing this.
You were right Linda, writing was therapeutic, but I’m just totally fed up.
Who cares? They’re dead. Killed. Chidren, women, men , oh yeah some are men… unfortunately, their pictures, dead, aren’t as sensational as those of toddlers’.
The UN “peace” keeping forces evacuated today a number of civilians from some villages in the south. Only those who hold a western nationality were evacuated. The filthy holders of Lebanese passports were begging them to take them along.
THEY DID NOT. They just left them there to die.
Do they tell you about this in your newspapers? Do they tell you that the UN “humanitarian” envoy who came and toured MY country was lecturing the refugees with that patriarchal “arrogant-knows it all\ seen it all- trying to look sweet and companionate with other species” look in his eyes?
Do they tell you that this same guy , whose monthly wage is most probably higher then the yearly revenues of all those who died today , had concluded that MY country needs 150 million dollars in humanitarian aid, and that once he reached Cyprus, he concluded all this was Hezbollah’s fault?
Do they tell you we’re not beggars? Do they tell you we don’t need charity? Do they tell you we work for a living? That we earn whatever we hav? That we sweat, we sing, we read, we learn, we breath, we love and we hate.
That woman, Hweiyda’s aunt, is not a beggar. She’s all alone with her burnt niece in a Beirut hospital. Four days ago , she had a house and a family. Four days ago she had a life.
Yesterday, when I gave her the hundred dollars Rola had given me for the people in need, she cried so hard it made me want to die.
Dignity. That’s what it’s all about.
Dignity.ـــــــــــــــــــــ
No more pictures, that’s it. Showing their pictures will not “open the West’s eyes “ . Showing their pictures will not bring them back. It will merely deprive them whatever is left from their dignity.
Those pictures are never published anywhere, there are laws that ban it. No laws ban killing people like this.
These people are not dying so we get to see their pictures.
Let them die, tens of them each everyday. Don’t pity them. I bet you they pity us. They pity us. They’re somewhere where nothing worse could happen to them.
We’re left here, dealing with our consciences , debating whose fault it is , what’s wrong and what’s right.
Pity us , pity those who did not get killed. Pity us who will be living in the New Middle East the US is tailoring for us. Pity the days to come.
Does Hweiyda know that there’s a bunch of people who will decide her fate in a conference in Rome?
H....

I forgot this
Three more things :

1- the UN envoy , the very white , very clean , very shaved “humanitarian” envoy, when he toured the suburb yesterday was accompanied by tens of local and foreign journalists. Did any of them , as far as you know , report about the smell of the whole place? That was the smell of corps, buried under the rubbles. In here, in the Southern Suburb of Beirut, 10 minutes away from me, corpses are rotting ……….
2- Does the bunch meeting in Rome tomorrow know about Hweiyda?
3- No one is turning us into beggars. We’ve been there before. Actually , ever since I was born , it was the last 15 years of my life that were unusual .The days when I’d wake up knowing exactly what will happen in the next few hours were the exception. Living like this is my life. So, let them try. They did it before and we were able to prevail.
Here’s extracts from a report by Agence France Press :
The Israeli strikes hit hundred of industries and factories in Lebanon since July the 12th. Infrastructure was destroyed , and more than 300 people lost their jobs when only one factory was completely destroyed in Taanayel in the Bekaa.
On Sunday , two shells targeted Al Dalal factory and left it in ruins. Tens of neighboring houses were partially destroyed.
The owner estimates he lost 20 million dollars in the strike and he tells the AFP reporter : what so I do now? Leave or rebuild?
Tens of smaller factories all over the country face the same fate.
Bridges, airports, roads, trucks, ports were all destroyed. Thus , aids , goods , food etc .. can not reach those who need them.
Many institutions did not go back to work after hundreds of its employees fled to safer areas.
One owner was quoted as saying” we might not be able to pay our employees in the few coming months .”
The head of the Industrial Association Charles Arbid told afp that 75 % of the industrial sector is currently out of business and that this sector that employs some 125 thousands people is completely paralyzed.
He said Israel’s strategy was to target the whole chain of manufacturing , from production to distribution.
Thus, Arbid explains that the rise in prices is due to petrol shortages and to the high risks on the roads.
The Lebanese minister of finance Jihad Azour had told AFP last week that preliminary estimates suggest losses in billions of dollars.

CAN SOMEONE TELL THE UN TO KEEP ITS 1,5 MILLION AND GO HANG ITSELF (it’s supposed to relief some 750 000 displaced and refugee.
Nb : the total population of Lebanon is 3,5 million

Beirut , Monday July 24th , 2006

She's much prettier than her pictures, Hweiyda. Despite what they did toher.The one safe eye she still has is green, sad, and beautiful.The stitches that go all the way down from her right eye to underneath herneck, are almost as deep as the look in her eye.She was sitting on her bed, very silent, very small, so small. Her aunt was trying to get her to eat. Jelly, custard, cheese, chocolate,fresh orange juice. There was everything on that tray. Everything any childwould want.Only when she saw the books my colleagues brought her, did she havesomething that looked like a twinkle in her eye. The one eye they left her.She's Fatma's room mate. Lucky Fatma, she has her mom and her sister next toher. They were injured too; they stay in the room next door. The wholefamily is at the same hospital, although on different floors. Hweiyda'sparents are not there.Hweiyda's father, her sister Abla and her brother Ahmad were in the gardenof their small house in Marje'youn in the south when the Israelis wenthunting.Hweiyda was in the house with her mom and other sister. So, they didn't die.I don't know who brought Hweiyda to Beirut. It was probably her aunt who'sstaying with her. The mother and sister were taken to a hospital in WesternBekka.Nobody dares to tell Hweiyda what happened. She speaks to her mom on thephone. She keeps asking for her brother, Ahmad. Her Ahmad has left her, butshe doesn't know it yet.She holds her tiny sandwich with her banded hand. She bluffs, she's noteating, she's somewhere else, that look in her eye, the only they left her,is so deep, it's not the look of a seven year old.It's that of a much older person. A wise one. Experienced. Someone who'sbeen through things other people can't even know they exist.It's the same look in Fatma's eyes. Fatma turned 12 today. We got her a cake, some candles that we weren't allowed to light not to hurt her lungs.Her whole body was burnt. She and her family were in the car fleeing Bleedato Tyre in the South; they believed the Israelis who'd told them to evacuatethe village before it was too late. They should have know better. Theyshould have known they were going to get them anyway , anywhere.Wise; not only the looks in their eyes were wise. Wise was the way they bothhandled us, with our stupid cake, our presents, our fake smiles; smart us,acting as if nothing has happened, is happening.Sad, no other word in the world can describe it more. Sad. So sad it makesyour heart ache, and your faith shiver.Happy birthday in Arabic is :sana helwa ya jameel , that is : (we wish youa) beautiful year .Singing that, there, was the most incredible thing on earth. Fatma waslooking at me with that "you ought to know better" look in her eye. I didn'tgive up, I told her that this coming year will certainly be better. Howworse could it get , I asked myself.They already lost their house, their village, they got hit by a bomb . whatelse can happen to them?Meanwhile , Hweiyda was busy listening to the cd on her walkman. I think itwas a smile , that thing I spotted.A colleague asked her aunt when we were leaving : what is it you need thatwe can get you?The answer was : the only thing she keeps asking about is Ahamd. He's allshe needs.

H...

PS : I did take Kinda along. She gave them CDS, but then got scared.. So mysister took her to the hall and waited for us there. When I came down shewas playing with kids her age who were waiting for their parents

this is Huweida

Monday 24th july 2006

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but today , nothing happened yet : condy riceis still here, so we're having a break.I'm going to the hospital this afternoon , actually a group of my colleagues in As-Safir is going : it's the birthday of Fatima : she's turning twleve today. Her body is burnt and she can't use her arms or legs. We got her awalkman (couldn't think of anything better to give to someone who has no arms or legs) and some books. We also got her a cake. Her whole family was hiding in a shelter in Blida in the south when the Israelis bombed them. She was burnt and her dad lost his legs. She told our colleague who went to seeher yesterday that her dad was planning on moving them to Beirut for her birthday anyway. I didn't know poor people celebrated their birthdays too...it also turned out she's the room mate (in the hospital) of Kinda's friend, whose picture she saw yesterday in the newspaper and wanted to visit. This morning she asked me when I was reading the newspaper : wein (where is) baby ? , so I knew she did not forget that I promised her I'll take herthere I'll tell you about her when we get back, for now I'm sending some picture and since not much happened last night, I tought there was room forme to send 2 or 3 pictures from Gaza : well, they're the same bombs, right?I'm aslo sending this analysis from reuters :Lebanon will need billions of dollars in aid to recover from Israel's war with Hizbollah, which has ruined many civil installations, hit tourism,forced businesses to close and forced hundreds of thousands to flee. The war is not over yet, but economists say the country's infrastructure has so far sustained $1 billion worth of damage after Israel bombed roads,bridges, ports and airports. Beyond damage to bricks and mortar, the Lebanese pound has come underpressure, the stock market has temporarily closed, and tens of thousands of foreigners have fled the war. Traders say the central bank spent $500 million last weekdefending thepound, though they add that the central bank has plenty of reserves to relyon and pressure is now declining.
Marwan Iskandar, a leading Lebanese economist, said the war could forcemany firms to close and cause the economy to shrink2-3 percent. This implies about $2 billion in lost growth, not to mention some $600 million in lost government income. Lebanon's economy had been growing at a healthy 6 percent or so before the crisis broke on July 12 when Hizbollah guerrillas seized two Israeli soldiers in a cross-border raid. "We are talking fairly enormous losses here," Iskandar said. "We will definitely need $3 billion in assistance in the very short term inthe nature of donations rather than loans. Much depends on the speed withwhich reconstruction can proceed, which depends on the speed and size of assistance." Even before the war broke out, Lebanon was struggling to cuta publicdebt above $35 billion, worth some 180 percent of GDP. Lebanese politicians had bickered for months over a draft reform plan, which foresees privatisation of the power and telecommunications sectors,higher taxes and lower spending. Lebanon had hoped to present the reform programme eventuallto potentiallenders at an international debt aid conference. What was a high priority just two weeks ago has been knockeddown thelist by a growing humanitarian crisis. SHELVING REFORMS "The effect on the economy is going to be very, very drastic. Forget reforms for the moment. We will not be in the mood for a while, possibly notfor a long time to come," said Shadi Karam, chairman of BLC Bank. "I hope the mood in the donor countries, which was not to give Lebanon a penny unless it reforms, will tone down." International credit ratings agencies have already cut Lebanon's outlookdue to the violence. Fitch has affirmed its current rating of 'B-' but cutthe outlook from positive to stable. Standard & Poor's put its 'B-' credit rating for Lebanon on credit watch with negative implications. Those ratings are already far below investment grade and Fitch said thewar's impact would be worse than the slump after last year's killing offormer Prime Minister Rafik al-Hariri. "The government will have to return to the market to borrow. You have torebuild roads and bridges and get things in and out.Many private concerns in the Bekaa Valley and the south have also been destroyed," said Karam. "To try to avoid crowding out financial resources for the privatesector, which also needs to rebuild, we will need as much from donors as wecan get."
Lebanon has a long history of weathering or bouncing back from crises, but bankers and economists say it will not be easy to lure back investorsunless a lasting ceasefire is reached. "If the solution is perceived as final and Lebanon can start rebuildingwhat is damaged, then we can foresee a medium term recovery," said Joe Sarrouh, adviser to Fransabank's chairman."People need to re-establish confidence for investment." Lebanon's financial markets fell sharply after the murder of Hariri, abillionaire tycoon who masterminded the reconstruction of downtown Beirut after the 1975-1990 civil war. But the markets recovered to record highswithin months. Flush with petrodollars, Gulf Arab investors poured over $1 billion intoLebanese real estate alone this year. Arab tourists had descended on Lebanon before the crisis emptied hotels. Whether Lebanon will recover now depends on a rapid return to stabilityand a lasting solution to Hizbollah's weapons -- tough challenges forLebanon's weak and divided government. "There is no interest in bringing Lebanon back to a very threateningsituation, so I think we will get some help,"Sarrouh said. "But the situation really is disastrous from a humanitarianpoint of view, so it is too early to speculate."
H..

Sunday the 23th...

Today’s message is huge, and probably boring. But here it is :

Daily routine : I wake up on the sound of a close one (shell). The radio is on all night long. So is the TV. I listen to, and look at what I missed in my sleep. Last night they bombed Saida, where my aunt and her family live, they bombed Akkar in the north, they bombed the Southern Suburb of Beirut (the usual), they bombed a factory in West Bekaa and they bombed, for the first time in its history, my village, Chmestar in Eastern Bekaa.
I get up , fix breakfast for “my own personal” refugees, and start my “daily phone marathon”. (don’t tell them land lines are still working). I start with Saida; my aunt pretends to be strong. She tells me the bombing was far from their house. She did not “synchronize” with her son. When I spoke to him , he told me a mall, very close to their house, was hit.
I call my friend in the north : all is fine. My other friend in west Bekaa: they brought a factory down, a big one it seems that used to build pre-fabricated houses and hangars and export them to Iraq. But that wasn’t all : some miracle happened early this morning it seems, when the shelling spared AL Hanane Institution where ten of orphans live : the whole area was bombed like hell.
I need to mention that Hezbollah does not exist neither in the North nor in West Bekaa , these are Sunni areas (that do not like Hezbollah anyway). I call the family house in my village ; they tell me there are over 40 people living in the house, because we have a basement. It seems that Israeli fighters flew over the village all day yesterday, took pictures and then bombed at dawn. They bombed the graveyard, where my grandfather, my uncle and my cousin are buried. My cousin tells that my ailing grandmother is not well, she’s ninety and she’s sick, and it seems that for 3 days now , she’s not recognizing anyone or anything. If she dies now , we won’t even be able to take part in the funeral : the are no roads. But if she dies now , maybe it will be less heart braking because every one lese is dying: younger people, children (the estimations say 170 children were killed by Saturday July 22nd) Then I call my sister who found refuge in Alley in the mountain. All fine. The last phone call was to my sister in law , my brother’s wife who fled to Syria (her mom is Syrian). They’re staying in Bloudan , a town closer to the Lebanese border than Damascus. She told me they could hear the bombing on Baalback and the rest of the Bekaa all night long.
Kinda’s diary : before I left to the office, Kinda, my two year old daughter (actually she’s 28 months old) was looking at the pictures in the newspaper. It’s a habit she took when all this started since we’re publishing lots of pictures of the displaced children. Of course , every morning I hide the pages that contain hideous pictures and give her the rest of the newspaper: she loves to see the pictures of other children. "

So, she saw this picture of a wounded 10 year old girl (god she’s pretty) who’s being treated at a hospital in Beirut. She came to me and said : mama , baby wawa ( ie sick in Arabic baby language) . I said yes, very wawa. And here’s what happened then : she wanted to go see her. She said : (in Arabic of course) I want to go there (with her finger pointing at the picture ) with cadeau ( present in French) . she kept insisting and wouldn’t let me go to work before I promised I’ll take her tomorrow .THIS IS A TRUE STORY, I still can’t believe it myself. I never took Kinda to a hospital before, and she doesn’t know it is customary to take presents to patients. But I promise you this : tomorrow I’ll take her there.
Hanady the weirdo :Here are some more of my sick thoughts. I need to tell you that ever since this started, I’ve been keeping myself busy 24\7 because I don’t want to have time to think about anything. But sometimes, I can’t help it : you know, when I’m taking a shower or trying to fall asleep. I get these weird thoughts. I try to get rid of them , but they keep coming back . sick thoughts. Yesterday , I thought I was completely mad because I found out that somewhere deep down inside of me , I fear the moment when all this will be over . What would happen then? We’ll be left with the dead, the injured, the ruins, the rubbles, the refugees, the diseases, the misery of those who lost everything, all this destruction , no roads, no phones, no electricity ( you know how long it takes to repair this sector?) no water, ..and a corrupt , impotent government. "

We’ll be left without the attention we might be getting now : crimes should be really bad to be able to draw the world’s attention : look at how indifferent we all get to be towards other conflicts and sufferings, with time. It took something as big as the massacres in Rwanda to shake us, for a while. Who remembers Africa now? Back to earth : the thing is that all this destruction happened so fast (congratulations to all the scientists working on “improving” arms and their ability to be effective, they’re really doing a great job that nobody seem to appreciate). I can’t believe, for instance, that when this will end, if we’re still alive, I won’t be able to reach my own village. It’s fast and it’s reported live : so it makes somehow unreal , as if you were watching a movie. I just can’t seem to be able to grasp the idea that this is actually happening. What do you call this ? Denial? Extracts from the story of my life: and then , there’s something else that explains my sick feelings and thoughts: my history. I’m 38 years old. I was seven when I witnessed my first war. I was 14 during the 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon. Seeing all these rubbles, all these villages completely wiped out , the fires, the injured, the dead , all of it .. brings me way back in time, and I stick to the idea that these images are not of what’s happening now , they’re pictures of old houses that were never rebuilt after the last war was over. That’s what I tell myself. I need to, because I fear that the moment I get to realize that this is actually happening here and now, I’d explode …literaly..
I can’t believe the kind of articles we were working on in the newspaper 12 days ago, I still have the minutes of the last meeting : two people covering a mini campaign to change the family laws that grant the kids to their dads after divorce, two other people following the lobbying efforts for granting women the right to give the Lebanese nationality to their kids if they’re married to foreigners, one person (this is the funniest) working on air pollution and the ill performance of the ministry of environmental issues , the economic departement working on revenues of tourism this summer and the transportation sector (we were trying to ban trucks from circulation on week-ends because they cause 10 of accidents weekly), and the education departement preparing articles about children summer camps , and the recent waves of immigration of the elite due to unemployment ..
H...

Saturday the 22th

Good morning , So it’s Saturday. The day we fear. It seems the Israelis will have to postpone some of whatever plans they might have: the evacuations are not done yet. The French still have people leaving tomorrow, the Canadians too. There are growing reports about the segregation of the US evacuations : they have priorities .. white ones. I’m sorry I can’t confirm , but my friends holding US passports keep telling me about it. I don’t have time to investigate it, I’m rather working with the people fleeing their villages and homes. Hamra (neighborhood in West Beirut, not targeted yet) was almost booming this morning. There were even traffic jams in the streets were some of the embassies asked their citizens to go to to be evacuated. There are also people who are shopping : food, bread, necessities that is. Hamra is hosting loads of displaced people from both the South and the Southern Suburb. There are also people who just need to go out for a walk… I even spotted two lovers walking hand in hand in one of the streets. All this is happening today because last night , Beirut and its suburb were spared air strikes. It’s weird, the ability of human beings to cope and go on no matter what. One “clam” evening and it somehow feels like we’re back to normal again. We, here in Beirut, can afford it. Some of my friends who live in the Southern Suburb went there yesterday to check on their houses and bring some of their stuff : they weren’t able to find their homes. Whole neighborhoods are completely destroyed, they weren’t even able to recognize in which streets they were. Some people were able to reach Beirut from the South over the past couple of days. Their tell hideous stories , about what they witnessed there, about how they fled and what they encountered on the roads, about the people they left behind : some alive and some buried under the rubbles. I feel you should read their stories, but I really don’t have time to translate the articles we publish in As-Safir . But for those of you who read Arabic they’re all on our website : http://www.assafir.com/. If any of you wants to use them , translate them , please feel free to do so , but I only need you the mention As-Safir as the source. When I started writing this message, the Israeli air fighters had just bombed 3 aerials in the Tourboul in the North , In Sanine in the East and in Fatqa east of Beirut. These are TV and mobile phones aerials. They might want to cut off the rest of the world. They might not … but just in case , I’m trying to find a way to keep you posted , at least with pictures. I need you then to spread them as much as possible. And if I don’t succeed in doing that , keep checking the wires. I’m sure the reporters on this list have free access to the news agencies, PLEASE CIRCULATE ANY PICTURES YOU GET. And if all this fails , then keep talking about us. Don’t leave us alone in Beirut. Now , in case this conspiracy theory of mine proves to be wrong , and I’d still be able to reach you people , then we’ll all laugh together and I’ll manage to accept criticism about how naïve I am.

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July 22 , 2006

Here’s a translation of my article in today’s As-Safir. It goes with the pictures attached . Excuse my English , literally. Die, deeply Die. Die the way They want you to die. No one will weep. Die by gunshots, by missiles, by sea shelling, or air strikes. Die out of starvation. Die under the open sky. Don’t run, they’ll get you on the roads. Stay where you are and die, stand still, don’t even attempt to move, just die. By forbidden arms, by “allowed” arms, die. And die together, whole family members, so no one will cry when you go. And down here, we won’t even be able to look at the pictures of your corps. Silently die, don’t scream. And stay right where you die, none of us is able to reach you, or to collect your remains from under the rubbles. None of us is able to know how many you are. None of us can protect you from the kind of death that they choose for you.

Baby , picture number one : go to sleep my darling , and don’t move. I’ll caress your hair through the night and hum your favorite tones, I’ll keep the wolves away .and in the morning , I’ll fix your ripped pants and wash your white shirt. Sleep my baby, I’ll hold you in my arms, bring your face close to my heart , and whisper to the angels , ask them to tell you fairy tales. Sing for him Fayrouz (the most famous Lebanese singer who lost a son when he was a toddler). Sing for him as you sang for your son. And sing loud, he’s afraid of the dark. “ya maymti, you’re still so young, you , like the roses , didn’t reach you first year yet…”

To Her , picture number two : why are your eyes open like this? What are you looking for? Here, there are the remains right in front of you. Your parents’ remains . Is this your mother’s arm? Take it , hug it , smell to find out whether it’s your mom’s or your dad’s … They’re not exactly open, your eyes. They’re half closed, as if you were getting ready to fall asleep. You seem to enjoy your nap. Doesn’t that piece of cement on your left foot bother you? Don’t you fear colic pains with your tummy uncovered like this? I’ll cover you before the night falls, and I’ll undo your pony tail so you don’t get a headache. Did you ever sleep in the open sky before, your body lying on thorns and rocks? Where do the poor sleep then? Your face is still white, and your cheek feels like silk. I know. I passed my fingers on it secretly , fearing I’d wake you up. You’re far from the rest of your family. Who threw you so far away? Who left you alone, in the middle of nowhere?

To Him , picture number three : Did you know , when you joined the small truck, and stretched your right arm comfortably behind the back of the person sitting next to you , that that hand was to remain there for ever ? And that feeling of relief that appears in the way your eyes are closed and your mouth is half opened, did you get it the minute you left your burning town? Did you know when you move your head backwards, that it will land on the remains of your loved ones ? And in your current sleep, and in the wildest dreams you might be having, does it occur to you that some of us would rather not have your pictures published , nor your story told, not to heart their “feelings”. Die, die deeply. Go as far away as you can from the poison their air fighters are dropping , and that contained in the words of some of your own people. And up there , when you meet your god, ask for victory for those who are working so this never happens to you again.
H...

21-7-2006

Here's the latest , sorry for being late today:

From the AP:-Thousands of Lebanese civilians fled north on Friday after Israel warnedthem to leave border villages and called up 3,000 army reserves in apossible prelude to a major ground offensive against Hizbollah guerrillas - The siege on Lebanon is not letting humanitarian aid in,"said Hisham Hassan, spokesman for the International Committee of the RedCross (ICRC). "The south is isolated." Two ICRC trucks were on their way from Beirut to a hospital in Tyre, where staff began burying corpses temporarily in a massgrave dug in an army barracks to clear space in the morgue-

(Reuters) - Some of the world's major aidagencies said on Friday that British Prime Minister Tony Blair had got his policy on the crisis in Lebanon "horribly wrong" byfailing to call for an immediate ceasefire in the Middle East. Blair's stance has put his country at odds with the rest ofthe international community, seven agencies, including Christian Aid, Save the Children and Oxfam, said in a joint statement. "The situation on the ground is grim and getting worse,"said Janet Symes, Christian Aid's regional manager for theMiddle East.

GENEVA (AP) _ The first international Red Cross reliefconvoy to reach the besieged southern Lebanese city of Tyrearrived on Friday after a six-hour journey over war-damagedroads from Beirut, a spokesman said. The convoy's arrival indicated a new Israeli willingnessto allow the international community to respond thedeteriorating humanitarian situation in Lebanon following aweek of Israeli-Hezbollah fighting, said Vincent Lusser, spokesman of the International Committee of the Red Cross. it's the first response we've had to our request forbetter humanitarian access,¯ he said. Two trucks in the convoy brought 24 tons of food, medical supplies and other assistance to the port city in the relief effort coordinated with Israeli authorities, Lussersaid.
The country has been becoming more isolated because ofdamage to roads, bridges and other structures. Because of the destruction and the danger of being hit,people have been afraid to go out and relief has beendifficult to provide, U.N. and other officials said. The availability of safe water, sanitation and hygiene is vital for people affected by the emergency, UNICEF said.The U.N. children's agency said a third of people killedand an estimated half of those displaced were children. UNICEF will be delivering vital supplies of water kits, purification tablets, water containers and essential drugsover the weekend and says its immediate funding needs areUS$7.3 million (د5.8 million).

The World Health Organization said it was very concerned about the lack of electricity in hospitals, safe passage ofambulances and access to people in the south of thecountry. The exact situation and needs of the estimated 500,000people displaced or otherwise affected by the conflict was difficult to assess because humanitarian agencies werefinding it difficult to move around the country, saidElisabeth Byrs, spokeswoman for the U.N. Office for theCoordination of Humanitarian Affairs, or OCHA. Although supplies were stockpiled to be sent to Lebanon,moving them was delayed because roads and bridges weredamaged or destroyed by Israeli air raids and shelling inthe southern part of the country, said officials of the United Nations and the ICRC. Even when trucks and ambulances could, they risked beinghit, ICRC officials said.
The initial convoy has enough supplies to care for 4,000people, said Lusser, adding that the agency hopes to follow with more aid. The U.N. refugee agency said it, too, is trying to getguarantees of safe passage from the warring sides. It is vital that there are safe corridors for" relief effort coordinated with Israeli authorities, Lussersaid.
The country has been becoming more isolated because ofdamage to roads, bridges and other structures. Because of the destruction and the danger of being hit,people have been afraid to go out and relief has beendifficult to provide, U.N. and other officials said.
The availability of safe water, sanitation and hygiene is vital for people affected by the emergency, UNICEF said.The U.N. children's agency said a third of people killedand an estimated half of those displaced were children. UNICEF will be delivering vital supplies of water kits, purification tablets, water containers and essential drugsover the weekend and says its immediate funding needs areUS$7.3 million (د5.8 million).
The World Health Organization said it was very concerned about the lack of electricity in hospitals, safe passage ofambulances and access to people in the south of thecountry.
The exact situation and needs of the estimated 500,000people displaced or otherwise affected by the conflict was difficult to assess because humanitarian agencies werefinding it difficult to move around the country, saidElisabeth Byrs, spokeswoman for the U.N. Office for theCoordination of Humanitarian Affairs, or OCHA.
Although supplies were stockpiled to be sent to Lebanon,moving them was delayed because roads and bridges weredamaged or destroyed by Israeli air raids and shelling inthe southern part of the country, said officials of the United Nations and the ICRC.
Even when trucks and ambulances could, they risked beinghit, ICRC officials said.
The initial convoy has enough supplies to care for 4,000people, said Lusser, adding that the agency hopes to follow with more aid.
The U.N. refugee agency said it, too, is trying to getguarantees of safe passage from the warring sides. It is vital that there are safe corridors for
humanitarian aid to reach those in need, but we have no guarantees yet of safe passage to the mountain regions,¯said Ron Redmond, chief spokesman of the U.N. HighCommissioner for Refugees. "We are ready to release tonsof supplies, including shelter materials, from our emergency stockpiles in Jordan and Syria as soon as safetransport routes are worked out." Redmond said a UNHCR emergency team was assembling inDamascus, Syria, preparing to head to Beirut to reinforce the agency's staff and check on the needs of "tens ofthousands of displaced people who have fled to mountain valleys outside Beirut for safety." The needs of these people, particularly those living in communal buildings such as schools, will become critical ifthey don't get assistance," he added. French Foreign Minister Philippe Douste-Blazy told a newsconference in Beirut that France was dispatching urgent aid to Lebanon by air and sea. He, too, called for safepassage.
The U.N. Relief and Works Agency, which cares forPalestinians in Lebanon and elsewhere in the Middle East,said its main concern was the food supply for nearly 3,000 displaced people staying in 40 shelters it has set up inits clinics and schools. " The economic situation is worsening day by day" saidUNWRA spokesman Matthias Burchard. "Provisions are runningout." He told reporters that the prices of vegetables had goneup 400 percent in east Beirut as a result of thehostilities. UNICEF was to fly tons of health kits, sanitation suppliesand toys from its warehouse in Copenhagen, Denmark, this\nweekend to Damascus for road shipment to Lebanon.
In Geneva, UNICEF spokeswoman Wivina Belmonte saidchildren were bearing the brunt of the hostilities."They make up one third of the fatalities so far,"Belmonte said. Of the hundreds of thousands of internallydisplaced people, our estimates are that half of those are" humanitarian aid to reach those in need, but we have no guarantees yet of safe passage to the mountain regions,¯said Ron Redmond, chief spokesman of the U.N. HighCommissioner for Refugees. "We are ready to release tonsof supplies, including shelter materials, from our emergency stockpiles in Jordan and Syria as soon as safetransport routes are worked out." Redmond said a UNHCR emergency team was assembling inDamascus, Syria, preparing to head to Beirut to reinforce the agency's staff and check on the needs of "tens ofthousands of displaced people who have fled to mountainvalleys outside Beirut for safety" The needs of these people, particularly those living in communal buildings such as schools, will become critical ifthey don't get assistance," he added. French Foreign Minister Philippe Douste-Blazy told a newsconference in Beirut that France was dispatching urgent aid to Lebanon by air and sea. He, too, called for safepassage. The U.N. Relief and Works Agency, which cares forPalestinians in Lebanon and elsewhere in the Middle East,said its main concern was the food supply for nearly 3,000 displaced people staying in 40 shelters it has set up inits clinics and schools. ®The economic situation is worsening day by day,¯ saidUNWRA spokesman Matthias Burchard. ®Provisions are runningout.¯ He told reporters that the prices of vegetables had goneup 400 percent in east Beirut as a result of thehostilities.
UNICEF was to fly tons of health kits, sanitation suppliesand toys from its warehouse in Copenhagen, Denmark, this weekend to Damascus for road shipment to Lebanon.
In Geneva, UNICEF spokeswoman Wivina Belmonte saidchildren were bearing the brunt of the hostilities. "They make up one third of the fatalities so far,¯ Belmonte said. "Of the hundreds of thousands of internallydisplaced people, our estimates are that half of those are
children. She said the recreational kits being sent were notfrivolous. We're talking about kids that have suffered from scars that have been inflicted over the last few days that arelikely to last a generation. Finding some way to find somekind of normalcy in a completely abnormal situation isanother one of our priorities.
---------------------------
Associated Press reporter Sam Cage in Geneva contributedto this report.

Dear all
These are bank accounts where you can send money to help out the displaced and the people in need.
Attached is a list of some local organizations and their account numbers. And below are the account numbers of another association of volunteers who are doing a great job, and of the Tayyar watani political party. I only allowed myself to send you their bank account because I know from the paper’s reporters on the ground that they are doing a great job with the displaced who seek shelter in the Christian areas. This is a very important sensitive issue in here, and there are lots of people in the Christian areas because west Beirut is almost “full” on the one hand, and considered more dangerous than east Beirut on the other hand.
However , and despite all what’s going one , some “local” politicians are not happy with this “bonding” between Christians and mostly Shiite Moslems. So they’re trying to cut off aids from the tayyar. I also need to specify these people are not (yet) or any country’s boycott list.
I was reluctant to send this before, but the situation on the ground is becoming unbearable and one can only guess it will worsen with time.
So, here are the lists .

For Zicco House :
C_O bassem shit
Societe general des banques au liban
Hamra branch
007004362092875014

C_O georges azzi
Credit lebanais
Agence sassine
0430012080006817356


Tayyar:

Société Générale de Banque au Liban (SGBL) Sin El Fil 001-004-361-236446-01-3 - SWIFT: SGLILBBXAccount Holder: FPM (Pierre Raffoul, Maurice Jreij & Elie Hanna)

France (rassemblement pour le Liban):
BNP PARIBAS PARIS CHAMPS ELY
RIB: 30004 00804 00010552302 36
IBAN: FR76 3000 4008 0400 0105 5230 236
Account holder: RPL - 63 rue Sainte Anne - 75002 Paris

H...

Beirut , July 21st , 2006

I left the office early last night ; at midnight.
There was only one devastating picture yesterday : that of two people who were killed in air strikes on Akkar,(the poorer area) in the north, late Wednesday night.
Both corps were black, both were dismembered , both were “weird”. I don’t think it matters anymore to try to prove that Israel is using unconventional , forbidden weapons .. that would only prove that it should have used “allowed” weapons. Who cares, people are dying anyway. And whatever weapons are being used , the pollution they’re creating will kill the survivors from cancer later.
The rest of the pictures were less devastating, conventional : demolished houses, wiped out villages and towns, more refugees , some of them starving, lovely babes on board of US marines ships and colored people from poor countries lining up in front of embassies hoping they will get them out of this hell.
The really devastating pictures will came later , much later, some day when all this will stop maybe we’ll be able to visit the ruins of whole villages. But even then it might be too late : how long does it take corps buried under rubbles to disintegrate and vanish ?
Anyway , so I left the office early and went home with my friend who’s staying with us because his house is in the southern suburb of Beirut. I was a bit worried because my brother in law , Khalil’s brother, was there too and I was wondering if I’d be able to manage space for everybody to sleep comfortably. Raed, my brother in law, and his eight-month pregnant wife , had left Jebshit in the south yesterday morning. They reached Beirut by 5:00 pm. They had crossed a bridge in Habbouche who’d been targeted only once . It was destroyed but cars were still able to find a way through. Half an hour after Raed had crossed the bridge, it was bombed again and completely demolished this time (sounds like an Indian movie, right?). Of course Raed knew nothing about that , he trying to make out to Saida, then up to Baakline in the Shouf then way down back to Beirut. When I got home , I asked if they had dinner. I was a bit ashamed because my fridge is empty. I hadn’t had time lately to buy grocery and I’m “heavily” relying on milk to feed Kinda, my daughter. “Dinner ?” Raed asked , “we had 9 shawarma sandwiches, Rana (his wife) and I. Today was the first time we eat in 3 days”. He tells stories about Jebshit. Sad ones. No electricity , no water, no roads, no food, no newspapers. Some villages even run out of batteries, so they can’t even listen to the news on the radio. Funny, isn’t it, that in Beirut we know more about what’s going on than the people concerned. Raed only knew they blew the Habbouche bridge when he listened to the news after he reached Beirut.

Anyway , so I left the office early and went home with my friend who’s staying with us because his house is in the southern suburb of Beirut. I was a bit worried because my brother in law , Khalil’s brother, was there too and I was wondering if I’d be able to manage space for everybody to sleep comfortably.
Raed, my brother in law, and his eight-month pregnant wife , had left Jebshit in the south yesterday morning. They reached Beirut by 5:00 pm.
They had crossed a bridge in Habbouche who’d been targeted only once . It was destroyed but cars were still able to find a way through. Half an hour after Raed had crossed the bridge, it was bombed again and completely demolished this time (sounds like an Indian movie, right?). Of course Raed knew nothing about that , he trying to make out to Saida, then up to Baakline in the Shouf then way down back to Beirut.
When I got home , I asked if they had dinner. I was a bit ashamed because my fridge is empty. I hadn’t had time lately to buy grocery and I’m “heavily” relying on milk to feed Kinda, my daughter. “Dinner ?” Raed asked , “we had 9 shawarma sandwiches, Rana (his wife) and I. Today was the first time we eat in 3 days”.
He tells stories about Jebshit. Sad ones. No electricity , no water, no roads, no food, no newspapers. Some villages even run out of batteries, so they can’t even listen to the news on the radio. Funny, isn’t it, that in Beirut we know more about what’s going on than the people concerned. Raed only knew they blew the Habbouche bridge when he listened to the news after he reached Beirut.
The first three or four days were very strange. I was in Beirut , sitting in an air conditioned office, watching the devastation of the South and the southern suburb. It felt like when you watch news and pictures from Palestine and Iraq. You feel frustrated and concerned, but you know there’s not much you can do for them, for mere geographical reasons, at least that’s the excuse one uses to comfort one’s self. But “this“ was happening a few kilometers away and I’d still be sitting here watching. The other weird feeling was related to the first one: I felt that I was paying my dues. The guilt feeling I’ve always had toward Palestine, and later towards Iraq, has diminished a little bit. I felt like hugging Palestine and Iraq and screaming to them “We’re with you, like you: left alone, suffering and part of your cause, a great one.” Sometimes I just flip and cry. Cry because I’m so helpless and angry. And most of the time I turn on my “automatic engine on”. I wake up at six , come to the office, report hideous stories , feel nothing about them , do my job : double check , choose “fantastic” headlines , pick up the “best” pictures, try to be as professional as one can be. I do that for 12 to 14 hours. I’d then go home, pick up my daughter from my mother’s house , and go to bed at one. The Israelis love to start their raids at ten past one, sometimes at five past one. That’s when I’m in bed. Every night, when they start, I rush out to the balcony to see where the smoke comes from. I live on the twelfth floor. Every night , when I go out , I see the moon , my lovely moon , shyly hiding behind the clouds caused by the fires that are surrounding my Beirut."

I have to admit to all of you that I have very mixed, weird, sick feelings about all this.
The first three or four days were very strange. I was in Beirut , sitting in an air conditioned office, watching the devastation of the South and the southern suburb. It felt like when you watch news and pictures from Palestine and Iraq. You feel frustrated and concerned, but you know there’s not much you can do for them, for mere geographical reasons, at least that’s the excuse one uses to comfort one’s self. But “this“ was happening a few kilometers away and I’d still be sitting here watching.
The other weird feeling was related to the first one: I felt that I was paying my dues. The guilt feeling I’ve always had toward Palestine, and later towards Iraq, has diminished a little bit. I felt like hugging Palestine and Iraq and screaming to them “We’re with you, like you: left alone, suffering and part of your cause, a great one.”
Sometimes I just flip and cry. Cry because I’m so helpless and angry. And most of the time I turn on my “automatic engine on”. I wake up at six , come to the office, report hideous stories , feel nothing about them , do my job : double check , choose “fantastic” headlines , pick up the “best” pictures, try to be as professional as one can be. I do that for 12 to 14 hours. I’d then go home, pick up my daughter from my mother’s house , and go to bed at one. The Israelis love to start their raids at ten past one, sometimes at five past one. That’s when I’m in bed. Every night, when they start, I rush out to the balcony to see where the smoke comes from. I live on the twelfth floor. Every night , when I go out , I see the moon , my lovely moon , shyly hiding behind the clouds caused by the fires that are surrounding my Beirut.
This morning , I stayed home till 12:00. I played with Kinda. My poor little baby. She doesn’t understand what’s going on. She keeps asking about her cousins. She looks at their pictures and keeps repeating their names; as if it was an exercise not to forget them. I tell her they’re in the mountains, and that we can’t go there. When they call us, she refuses to talk to them. She thinks they abounded her. The first time she heard the bombing, she rushed to my arms asking me if this was fireworks . I said “ no , this is boum boum , ha ha ha “and started laughing. So now, every time she hears the bombing she starts singing “boum boum “ and she laughs. I left her at noon. She was sleepy, and wouldn’t go to bed. It took a few minutes to realize the reason : she wanted to fall asleep in my arms. Before July the 12th, I would not move at her bed time. I’d put her on my lap , sing to her until she sleeps. For 10 days now, she’s been sleeping in the stroller at my mother’s house: only to guaranty that I will come pick her up when I finish working. Two last notes: I feel ashamed talking about my daughter while other people’s kids were either killed or lack of food and shelter. But I feel so guilty towards her. Second : to all the Israelis who have been sending their comments on what I write , I say this : I agree with you , we are savages , blood lovers, we don’t have feelings, and we actually enjoy looking at the pictures of victims. Actually , each time we see one , we party and dance. And in my writings, I’m only pretending to have feelings , and being pathetically sentimental only to bluff. Here, I’m admitting it. And to all my friends in the west : don’t believe anything I say , cause I’m only viciously using you and trying toturn you into sympathizers of fundamental terrorism. "

This morning , I stayed home till 12:00. I played with Kinda. My poor little baby. She doesn’t understand what’s going on. She keeps asking about her cousins. She looks at their pictures and keeps repeating their names; as if it was an exercise not to forget them. I tell her they’re in the mountains, and that we can’t go there. When they call us, she refuses to talk to them. She thinks they abounded her.
The first time she heard the bombing, she rushed to my arms asking me if this was fireworks . I said “ no , this is boum boum , ha ha ha “ and started laughing. So now, every time she hears the bombing she starts singing “boum boum “ and she laughs.
I left her at noon. She was sleepy, and wouldn’t go to bed. It took a few minutes to realize the reason : she wanted to fall asleep in my arms. Before July the 12th, I would not move at her bed time. I’d put her on my lap , sing to her until she sleeps. For 10 days now, she’s been sleeping in the stroller at my mother’s house: only to guaranty that I will come pick her up when I finish working.

Two last notes: I feel ashamed talking about my daughter while other people’s kids were either killed or lack of food and shelter. But I feel so guilty towards her.

Second : to all the Israelis who have been sending their comments on what I write , I say this : I agree with you , we are savages , blood lovers, we don’t have feelings, and we actually enjoy looking at the pictures of victims. Actually , each time we see one , we party and dance. And in my writings, I’m only pretending to have feelings , and being pathetically sentimental only to bluff. Here, I’m admitting it. And to all my friends in the west : don’t believe anything I say , cause I’m only viciously using you and trying to turn you into sympathizers of fundamental terrorism.
H...

Does anyone have an answer to this question..what kind of weapons is israel using?!!!
www.assafir.com/iso/israeli-aggression/

if anyone have an answer please let me know

20-7-2006

Last night was terrible ( how accurate is his word, I wonder) for people inthe Bekaa , in the south , in the north and in Beirut. This leaves on the mountain area out. I have nothing to tell , the pictures will.Here in the newspaper we're trying to find out what kind of weapons arebeing used, we already contacted doctors in Brussels, we're talking todoctors at the American University Hospital in Beirut, and we're waiting for your help, if you can provide it.One small note : Srifa, the village that was almost wipped out yesterday(it's in the south ) , is being bombed again today. No one was able to gothere yet. Corps are still under the rubbles . No one knows what the death toll is there , or in any other village forthat matter. If this ends one day, I would not want to be here to know what really happened. No one , no one,is allowed to get away with all this hate , blood, and viciousness. They are children killers . And no one can stop them.
H..

20-7-2006

The fear is growing in Beirut. Beirut is sad, scared, wounded and … left alone.
By yesterday morning, the UN said 150 000 people (foreigners and Lebanese holders of 2nd nationalities ) had already left Lebanon .Evacuations aresupposed to be completed by Friday . Today has been an exceptionally calm day : the US marines are evacuating Us citizens. By tomorrow , the country will be left to its own people and Israeli shelling. In Beirut , by Saturday , there will only be those who have nowhere else to go and the very few who deliberately decided to stay. There were also be those who managed to flee the south and the southern suburb of the capital.
What will happen to us on Saturday ?
A friend called a few minutes ago , scared and begging me to go hide with her in Baabdat in the mountains. She said her friend who works with the UN and lives in Washington called her to tell her to stay out of Beirut , because she heard that by Saturday , it will be hell , nothing will stop them. The city will be theirs : my city , my dearest city , my only home , is open to their warplanes and shells. Our kids , as of Saturday , will be the targets of Israeli fire. So it’s said.
What I fear the most is that by Saturday , July the 22nd, Beirut will be cut off from the rest of the country , and the world. Every morning , I rush to the office to make sure the internet is still working. Every day I ask myself : why didn’t they stop it ?
As of Saturday , I fear every city or region will be cut off from the rest of the country. Maybe they won’t bomb us. Maybe they will just leave us in our cities and villages to starve and rot to death. Maybe they will do both. Worse than not knowing what will happen is knowing that whatever the Israelis decide to do, nobody wants or can stop them.

H...:(

19-7-1006

Ok , I have to admit the attached pictures are hideously gruesome, but you have to look at them . Help me find out what kind of weapons cause this kind of dismemberment and mutation. What kind of weapons cause this kind of damage? Do you know? Could you find out?
None of this is confirmed, or could be here and now. However, there are growing doubts that Israel might be using internationally forbidden weapons in its current aggression against Lebanon. News from "Southern Medical Center", a hospital in Saida( in South Lebanon) are not good.
Dr. Bashir Sham, member of "French Association of Cardiovascular Surgeons", explains that the way the corps look when they reach the hospital , especially those of the air strikes in Doueir and Rmayleih, is very abnormal."One might think they were burnt , but their colour is dark , they're inflated, and they have a terrible smell" All this , and the hair is not burnt nor do the bodies bleed.
Eight of the victims of an air strike on Rmayleih bridge, near Saida, on the 15th of July, were transferred to Sham's hospital.
Sham says that only chemical poisonous substances "lead to instant death without bleeding". And what indicates the power of these substances, is the high and unusual of number of dead victimes, compared to the number of injuries.
Sham thinks that whatever "abnormal " substance causing these features might penetrate through the skin, or another explanation would be that the missiles contained toxic gas that stopped the proper functioning of the nervous system, and led to blood clotting.
These toxic materials cause immediate death, within two to thirty minutes, according to Sham, who admits that these doubts can't be proven, not even by an autopsy.
The director of the same medical center, Ali Mansour, says that due to the strong smell of the
corps, he couldn't breath properly for at least 12 hours after the corps were handled.
\nHe explains that the center received eight bodies from Rmeileh last Monday, and none of them was bleeding.\nMansour tells us the hospital wrote to both the commissioner of the European Union for Foreign Affaires Javier Solana, and the United Nations Secretary general Kofi Anan. He said that dr Sham will communicate his doubts to the Doctors Order in Lebanon. CAN YOU HELP US , PLEASE!
H...

Ps: all the pictures below are from Reuters

18-7-2006

So , this wraps it up for now.
Today was a weirdly calm day in Beirut, after a bloody dawn in the suburb. I think we owe it to the Western embassies evacuating their citizens.the evacuations will be completed by the end of the week. By then , all the bridges and roads linking towns and villages to each other will be completd. We were wondering why some roads were spared till now.
It was not that calm in the south , nor in the Beqaa. And in addition to the ongoing raids and bombings , people were still looking for the remains of those who were killed over the past days.
No need to try to keep updating the death toll. No one knows anymore...
The new thing is targeting army barracks and soldiers.
Something great is happening though . People all over the country opening their houses to the displaced who were able to make it to safe places .People helping out in organizing aids efforts. People giving food to those who need it.
H...

19-7-2006

Hello everyone,
In addition to the pictures , here's some figures today ; and they're not
mine:

BEIRUT, Lebanon (AP) _ Lebanon's prime minister said Wednesday that 300 people have been killed, 1,000 wounded and half a million displaced in Israel's week-old onslaught on Lebanon and said he would seek compensation from Israel for the "unimaginable losses" to the nation's infrastructure
GENEVA, July 19 (REUTERS) - The scale of killing and maiming of civilians in Lebanon, Israel and the Palestinian territory of Gaza could constitute war crimes, the United Nations human rights chief said on Wednesday.
U.N. High Commissioner for Human Rights Louise Arbour said international humanitarian law was clear on the need to protect non-combatants in any conflict. "This obligation is also expressed in international criminal law, which defines war crimes and crimes against humanity," she said.
"The scale of the killings in the region, and their predictability, could engage the personal criminal responsibility of those involved, particularly those in a position of command and control," she said, without directly accusing anyone.
- Also from the ASSOCIATED PRESS in GENEVA ":The Geneva-based humanitarian agency (International red cross ) is asking for aninitial 10 million Swiss francs (US$8 million) to help displaced and vulnerable people, as well as supporting medical services of the Lebanese Red Cross.
-UNICEF and the World Health Organization said in a statement that there was a serious psychological effectfrom the fighting, which has killed more than 200 people and injured some 550 in Lebanon alone.
"Civilian deaths include dozens of children, with many more injured," the joint statement said. "The psychological impact is serious as people, including children, have witnessed the death or injury of loved ones and destruction of their homes and communities."
The two agencies are working with Lebanon's Ministry of Health to provide emergency medicines and supplies for acute and chronic conditions, such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes, as well as chlorine tablets to ensure safe drinking water and prevent waterborne diseases.
H...);

19-7-2006

It’s the eighth day. It all started last Wednesday. It seems ages ago.
I didn’t sleep last night. Not because of the bombing, although my flat was shaking every time they bombed. They always start their air raids on Beirut around 1:00 am. To the other regions, they offer 24\7 services.
“Sleepless in Beirut”, thinking about tomorrow. Not the next morning, that is. The Tomorrow. Houses turned into rubbles, burnt bodies, families in the streets, embargoed cities and villages, people pleading for food and water … and the Electricite du Liban company sending its people to collect bills!
What would Tomorrow look like? What is this happening for? They say they want to extract terrorism. Why? Would terrorism do more than what they’re doing?
On my way to work, in the nearby public park , I saw Nour, a four year old open-heart patient , who fled with her parents the Ouzai area, south of Beirut. Her father wants to stay in an open-door area, he’s afraid the “over-populated” public schools won’t be suitable for a child with a heart condition.
“I’m having fun here “, she says, smiling to the camera, “we’re playing all the time and no one is giving us orders.”
Moussa, the guard outside the newspaper building was crying. His family had just called from their village Mayss el Jabal in the south. His wife told him she couldn’t find food for their children.Up to the sixth floor. Bahia, my dear friend and colleague , who left her house in Hadath two days ago, was on the phone. Someone was telling her that her house does not exist anymore. She had tears in her eyes when she said “ at least the kids are safe”. In my office, the France Press news agency confirms that the four trucks that were bombed yesterday on the Lebanon-Syria road contained food and medicine sent by Turkey and the United Arab Emirates. Reuters reports about Sel’a , a village in the south that was bombed overnight. It says 5 of ten bodies buried under the rubbles of an apartment building were found, and they’re still looking for the rest. They’re all the members of one family. Well , at least no one will miss them. Shall I go on? It’s still 11:00 am and I have to go see what happened in Ashrafieh, the Christian neighborhood in Beirut they just bombed.
H.. );

18-7-2006

Last Tuesday , at 6:00 pm , I was sitting in a café in Verdun in West Beirut. Taxis, trying to pick up wealthy Arab tourists staying in the nearby hotel, were causing traffic jams. Kinda , my two year old angel , was having a great time coming up and down the escalator in the mall where the hotel and café are.

I was having a great time too. My best friend when I was 12 , Najwa , was visiting Lebanon after 26 years. Najwa’s father was the Moroccan ambassador to Beirut till 1980. I couldn’t believe we were meeting again. Her father was placed in several countries before they returned to Rabat. In 1981, my family and I left Beirut right before the 1982 Israeli invasion, and Najwa and I lost contact.

We sit in a café in Verdun , we both have tears in our eyes. We remember the old days, we tell the stories of the past 26 years , we laugh ,we cry, she tells me she’s surprised how much Beirut had changed .

Later in the evening , I picked her up and we went shopping , then we had some sushi and we agreed that the next morning we’ll take her seven year old boy and my Kinda to the beach.

Today is Tuesday. I’m in the office, watching villages being destroyed , burnt bodies, and trying to call the members of my family who are scattered all over the country seeking refuge in areas they think might be safer than others. This morning, I tried to get some cheese and tomatoes for breakfast for a friend who’s staying over after his house in the southern suburb was destroyed. I got the cheese , but the grocery shop has no vegetables. Beirut is under siege, Beirut will have nothing to eat or drink soon.

A colleague calls me from the nearby Sanayeh public garden , where people who fled the suburb are staying. “if you know of people who want to donate money , tell them to buy milk , diapers, bread and food and bring it over here”. I can find people who have money, but where would I get the bread from?

Last Tuesday seems so far away. Najwa managed to reach Rabat “at her own risk”. We still had so much to tell to each other. We might be able to do it soon. But one thing is certain : if she comes back soon, I won’t be able to take her to my village in the Bekaa, nor to the beach in Tyre. And Beirut will probably look the way it was some 26 years ago.
H...

18-7-2006

The United Arab Emirates and Jordan sent aids to Lebanon (food, medicine, ambulances etc..). Air raids right at this moment are targeting the convoys on Dahr el Baidar (international road in the Bekaa) , already four jordaninas are killed, ambulances are burnt and it’s still going on …
H...

17-7-2006

Some of these pictures are very strong.I can not confirm reports talking about the use of unconventional weapons , but for those of you who dare to look , you will notice the nature of wounds and burns is not very "familiar". Today the Israeli government said its "operations" will not end before at least one week. People are afraid the next few days will be worse than the past ones. They're expecting that as soon as the evacuation of the foreigners will be completed, the israelis will have a "freer" hand. So , the fleeing was at its atmost today. The people who were trying to flee the south and managed to get out of Saida were traped and killed when the Rmayleh bridge was air bombed. Tyre witnessed more raids and massacres today , but tens of people are still under the "remains of their former houses"

H..

17-7-2006

I'm sending theses new pictures now. Last night , 60 raids were executed all over Lebanon , from Tripoli in the north to Baalback in the East ,and in
Beirut. Since Thursday 197 civilians were killed and 35o injured according to the health ministry , but this can not be a finel account since whole
villages and cities are completely cut off , there' s no way to reach them or know wht's happening there.
Now what happened in the south last night seems to be outrageous . People are fleeing in masses , there are humongous traffic jams in Saida , caused
by hundreds of people fleeing to Beirut through the South.
Those people have nowhere to go in here , and that's way they hadn't left their villages so
far. This morning, the streets of beirut were full with families carrying plastic bags in whivh they packed their belongings , or what's left of them.
Appartement buildings in beirut are either full or over priced.
People took in relatives and friends in their houses .
Now all this is fine, it's war , killing destroying , moving people ,
cutting off cities , destroying infrastructure , it's calssical.
But , please , take a minute and look at any of these pictures in a
different way. Some countries said they will help lebanon's reconstruction
(thanks) . Saudi Arabia said it will give 50 milion $ in aid. A small
calculation of the difference in oil prices between last Wednesday and today
will show how generous this offer is , especially that the Saudis political
stand almost gave the israelis a green light to go on.
Anyway , that was not my point .
The point is , if you take a real look at the pictures , you will see: a
house , a car , a shop... Destroyed ones. But , 6 days ago , they were
somebody's car , shop , and house. Inside the houses were toys for children
, books and music. All gone, and no one will pay for it.
The shops are all what these people own. The harbour that was burnt last
night , contained goods someone had paid for. People will go bankrupt.
Did I mention that the targeted areas are the poorer in Lebanon?
Oh yeah , and I forgot to mention all the people who died.

H...

refugies in a school in Beirut

feeding his baby
just escaped to death

17-7-2006

resting in Sanayeh garden

karim kobeissy (AP)

what left for them in Dahiyeh

The list is longer toady .the pictures are from everywhere . The scope ofshelling was terrible today. They're hitting everywhere, killing everywhere.Apologies if it turns out to be inconveniant and many thanks to all of youwho responded and offered to help.
H...

16-7-2006

You will all have to excuse me for sending this. It's pictures of the bodies of babies killed by the israelis in South lebanon. They are all burnt. I need your help. I am almost certain these pictures won't be published in theWest, although they are associated press pictures. I need your help exposing them if you can. The problem is these are people who were asked to leavetheir village , Ter Hafra , this morning , within two hours , or else. ...So those who were able to flee went to the closer UN base where they wereasked to leave. I think that after the Qana massacres in 1996 when civilians were bombed after they took chelter in UN headquarters , the UN does not want to be responssible for the lives of civilians.A FEW MINUTES AGO , the Israeli asked the people of Al Bustan village in the south to evacuate their homes. I am afraid massacares will keep happening as long as Israeli actionsare uncheked. Please help us if you can
H....

PS: Israel said that she was targetting Hezbollah fighters... and here they are lighing dead!!
zzz